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15-May-2020 09:56

Why do men engage in viewing pornography both in secrete and in isolation? How can we help men and women understand one another so as to better avoid the bitterness and anger that easily comes between them on this issue? We have had several females state their intention to end their relationship with their male partner and at least one woman has asked if she should break her engagement and impending marriage over the pornography controversy.

We need to ask if this angry approach is good for either men or women over the topic of viewing internet pornography.

How can a father be engaged in fathering his children if he is locked in his office at home spending countless hours viewing porno sites on the internet?

More than just viewing porn, these men are also masturbating. Why do otherwise good fathers and husbands engage in this self-isolating sexual behavior when they have a willing sexual partner available?

Let us see if we can figure out some answers instead of engaging in condemnation. As has been stated in other weblog entries on this site, shame has to do with deep feelings of self-disapproval.

Yet, once married, women are expected to be sexual and erotic for their husbands.

These conflicted feelings are often less intense today, in the wake of the women's liberation movement, but they still persist.

This is such a visible aspect of masculinity and is so very obvious that any males who doubt their masculinity struggle with the question of whether their erection is large enough to attract and satisfy women. If he fails to get and maintain an erection he feels less like a real man.

If the male ejaculates before he enters the woman he feels less like a real man and if he ejaculates too soon after entering the woman and thus, deprives the woman of her orgasm, he feels like a failure.

Let us see if we can figure out some answers instead of engaging in condemnation. As has been stated in other weblog entries on this site, shame has to do with deep feelings of self-disapproval.

Yet, once married, women are expected to be sexual and erotic for their husbands.

These conflicted feelings are often less intense today, in the wake of the women's liberation movement, but they still persist.

This is such a visible aspect of masculinity and is so very obvious that any males who doubt their masculinity struggle with the question of whether their erection is large enough to attract and satisfy women. If he fails to get and maintain an erection he feels less like a real man.

If the male ejaculates before he enters the woman he feels less like a real man and if he ejaculates too soon after entering the woman and thus, deprives the woman of her orgasm, he feels like a failure.

For women, feelings of shame often have to do with body image issues.